The affirmations industry is big. Huge. There are people all over the world staring into mirrors, talking to themselves and repeating how marvellous they are, how strong, capable and confident they are. There are millions of pounds being made by promoting this fake it till you make it approach and a very clear consumer hope that if they lie to themselves, loud and often enough, life will gradually get better and may one day even become amazing. There are some for whom this tactic really works, yes, a few words said each and everyday really is all that is keeping them from greatness. For the vast majority of people I see however, it’s a woefully inadequate mechanism for growth, and I’m calling it out.
What you’re not usually told upfront is that many of the people who are successful with affirmation work are those for whom it is neither the beginning, nor the end of their growth work. Those who identify it as part of a machine, rather than the entire beast itself. If you really want to start having genuine and lasting success with your own affirmations, or you’re wondering why you gave the whole thing up, here are a few things you should know.
Root cause, pattern and belief work, is required
Long-term, there is no half-arsing this, no way whatsoever. Your subconscious mind is a force to be reckoned with and whilst not always working from the most up-to-date information, it’s efficient, strong and its soul-purpose is to keep you safe. It’s not dumb. When you stand in front of a mirror, telling yourself that you are confident, what you should really be doing is asking the question ‘why is it that I’m not confident?’ Your subconscious mind has the answer and it can tell you the exact moment or reason your confidence left. It can tell you why you don’t speak up and why you believe you are less than. Whether it was something a teacher said to you age five, or a mistake you made twenty years ago, your subconscious is likely trying to keep you small, so you don’t experience that same hurt again. These are the root causes we speak about, the underlying reason why you need certain affirmations in the first place. Affirmations without the underpinning belief rewiring, aren’t worth the paper they’re written on.
Affirmations off the rack are cheap
In my not so humble opinion, one of the worst things you can do it repeat affirmations that have come from somewhere other than yourself. This is like picking up someone else’s prescription from the pharmacy because it sort of sounds like the solution to a similar problem you have. It’s not a wise move. Your soul has a unique blueprint and the challenges you’re overcoming will be nuanced to your experiences and circumstances. Your affirmations, to be the most effective, must be a result of your own life force, your own consciousness and energy. To really resonate, maximise and receive the best from them, you need to have birthed them yourself, even if only in an unexpected moment with a coach or friend.
You need to have an intention
Why are you saying affirmations and what are you doing to support them? Making affirmations the only self-growth exercise you do could be compared with going to the gym seven days a week, whilst your lunches and dinners consist mainly of fried food and wine spritzers. There comes a point when the diet will cancel out the great work you’re doing and the same can be said of affirmations. By setting an intention, becoming clear on the outcomes you’re working towards, you can implement actions in other areas of your life that will aid what you’re on path to achieving. If you know you’re seeking confidence to speak in public, perhaps you’ll also join a toastmasters group. If your outcome is to believe in your own unconditional beauty, perhaps you’ll begin wearing less makeup over that scar you dislike. Setting intentions helps you to become clear about your why.
In conclusion, affirmation are not the quick fix they are sold to be; they are the diet plan of the nutrition world, the 3 minute work out of the fitness industry, they are essentially a short-cut to full psychological and emotional change.