This morning, I issued an invitation to the universe, for it to come find me where I am. I am not lost, I am simply here.
I have known for a while that my biggest need, right now, is to remain in the present moment. It’s a need to hold a deep awareness, a genuine appreciation, for what is happening within my inner space, now. It has meant removing myself from social media, declining any distractions that come masquerading as entertainment, being clearer with boundaries.
What I did today, during my meditation, was acknowledge my need to remove all artificial stimulants, so that I may move closer into the quiet.
My spirit is craving peace, on so many levels.
In this stillness, I can create a clear route for my heartfelt desires to make their own way to me; to follow a pathway that is not moving, exploring, chasing. This is a version of me who remains still enough to receive, without the fear that exertion is the only suitor to growth. It’s the becoming of a woman who allows what desires or needs her, to come and find her, as she walks in the peace necessary to heal, regroup and re-learn herself anew.
This is the re-making of one who understands there are easier journeys, wondrous and great experiences to be had, but who does not seek to jump timelines or create magic elixirs.
This is the version of me that is sitting, not waiting, only remaining still, ready to receive the next choice to present itself. I am here, in the moment, to respond and watch the matrix adjust around me.
This may in itself be an initiation, a subtle art I am called to re-member into my body; this decision to honour motionlessness, giving permission for forces to carry me on the waves of now, time folding in so completely it fails to truly exist. There is a grace here, fluidity; it is wholly feminine and it is peaceful beyond measure.
I do not need to go anywhere. There is no compulsion to book the spa, or the dinner, or the show; to hold any arrangement outside of myself as a beacon of solace or rest. I am able to court the outcome now, and invite any extension of it into my reality to show up at will – for me to accept, or not.
I can invite all the things, to come find me where I am.
And as I fall into this surrender of silence, I can for a time, truly let go, of the strength required to always be ready, alert, seeking.
By inviting in, I can release the need to always be preparing for the uninvited, for the latecomers, for the things I expect that do not show up.
I can be healing and open at the same time. Giving all to myself whilst receptive to more.
This, is my balance.
CFM – Come Find Me.