There are an extraordinary amount of healing and therapeutic modalities available to people choosing to explore the inner workings of who they are. As a mentor I see it as my calling to experience any and all that resonate with me, knowing that if they do, I’m sure to meet with people who require that exact knowledge on their own paths. Being able to pivot with a client’s needs and layers is what helps me to facilitate the changes that would usually require multiple practitioners.
I was excited when I first moved into the sphere of embodiment work; the ability to feel one’s body in its entirety and recognise where it keeps memory of what the mind alone cannot carry or release. Discovering where certain emotions lived in my physical self and where specific thoughts had made themselves a home was ground-breaking for me. I could see where the traumas were stored, where anger or despair had taken refuge during a time when I could neither clear nor flush it through myself. Embodiment strategies became the go-to, a resource not only to shake myself free from the heavier burdens of life but also for holding the good that presented itself. Suddenly I was practising expansion, opening up even more space within my body and nervous system to hold larger amounts of success and abundance. It felt good and it felt progressive, yet at times it seemed there just wasn’t enough room inside me to hold all the life I was attempting to live.
My nervous system would balk at the presence of so much perceived pressure; you want too many clients, there’s not enough time, there are too many expenses, you’re studying too much. It became so overwhelming that I began unconsciously sending out signals of rejection; no, I’m not ready for that, no, I can’t hold that, no, I want it but I’m not strong enough, no, the weight of that will crush me. There are so many things in life that the mind wants, and most of us don’t realise it’s our bodies that are unable to honour them because those wants feel detrimental to our survival systems. And so I continued to push my expansion, to clear blocks, to grow, more and more. Until one day I realised, or perhaps remembered, that I am more than only a body.
I had spent seasons trying to hold exponential amounts of growth, attempting to follow the path of connecting deeper with my ‘light body’, the higher, more evolved version of me. There was even an occasion during a meditative session when I became violently nauseous. To prove a point, my guides had provided me with a taste of the power I was naively trying to hold within this flesh and bones structure. They demonstrated aptly, what it is to try and contain a hurricane in a glass vase.
The day I had my epiphany it felt like I had gone full circle with my embodiment practice. I looked outside my physical body and saw quite clearly all my underutilised subtle bodies that could possibly help to hold the weight of life; all the many good things that I was constantly forcing my physicality to integrate and carry alone. For the first time I looked at my aura, clear from trauma – as far as I could see and for the time being – and I meditated on whether it could share the positives that my body so often buckled beneath. I wondered if it could help to support them. Not as a by-product of my body and what spilled over, but as an active partner and participant. I knew I had a number of extraordinary life opportunities floating around me and the thought of attempting to hold them all simultaneously, in my body, no longer sat comfortably.
I toyed with how it might feel, to move these nuggets of gold to rest and wait in my aura, allowing me to work with each as and when they needed to fall into my physical world. It felt energising. It felt like this auric field I had only ever cleared, expanded or contracted, could be so much more of an ally than I had previously thought. Immediately there was the feeling of release, of tension being lifted from me, so that I might get a better look, a greater perspective from which to see and appreciate life more clearly.
What was interesting too, was that having these things completely disconnected from my body didn’t feel right, the disconnection was too extreme, and I did not want to dissociate from the goodness in my field. So, I got my heart involved. I connected, during meditation and sacred magic rituals, the colours of my heart to the positivity consciously supported in my aura. I felt my body sigh again in relief, deeper. What I realised in these moments was that embodiment is a necessary and key element in healing, but it is part of a cycle. Having previously studied energetics, this ability to now combine the two separate modalities changed everything.
Obviously, a clear aura is necessary for this work. We have all met with people whose aura repels us. To have an aura filled with opportunity and positivity, however, is magnetic. This is real expansion, this is growth, this is being supported by self without resistance, without so much stress on our inner workings. This is another way to do and to live and it is available to anyone whose human body is not yet evolved enough to hold the energy coursing through it. Sometimes, the vessel just isn’t strong enough to carry what is required and that’s okay, because we are all so much more. If there are ever times when the good feels too overwhelming, see where in your subtle bodies you can find brief respite and calm. Remember, however, it’s a temporary and cyclical process, not a permanent storage solution.