It can be difficult sometimes to have an in-depth conversation about relationships without the mention of soulmates. We hear a lot about them, these people with whom we have an inextricable connection, one that can’t be explained through the science or logic that so many of us rely on elsewhere in our lives. There’s a common desire in those of us wanting romantic relationships, to find this mate and become part of a seemingly unshakable union. What we think less about, is the reality of it. The reality that our soulmates, whether friends or lovers, are not always compatible with us, right here on earth.
However much we try to come up with definitions that detract the term soulmate from its spiritual connotations, the fact remains we’re describing a type of connection that goes beyond the purely mental or physical. It can be as instant as a bolt of electricity travelling through our bodies, as slow as an explorative gaze into someone’s eyes, or as subtle as the peace that comes from sharing another’s presence. The beauty of this connection may be so exquisite, that when there’s incompatibility with the parts of us which aren’t always driven by our soul, it is difficult to accept. These are parts such as our belief systems and behaviours, and more to the point, those of other people’s.
Surely, we feel, the union with our soulmate should overcome all else, it should triumph in its divinity. Well, no, not always. However beautifully we’re connected with others on a spiritual level, it’s necessary to acknowledge and be mindful of the fact we’ve all shown up on this planet for different reasons. Throughout our lives, we will collect different experiences ranging from peace, to trauma of the worst kinds. The consequence is that the choices we make and the paths we walk are ever-changing, needing to be honoured at their own pace. Simply because we feel that we’ve emanated from the same source as another, or that we share a myriad of past lives, it doesn’t mean our paths in this lifetime will be an automatic match.
This doesn’t equate to the connection being lost or being any less meaningful, it simply means that someone may be your soulmate, but not your earthmate. An earthmate is the person, the people, that you’re supposed to be with and live amongst, here, on planet earth.
These are the people with whom you may have no such obvious previous spiritual connection. The peace you feel with them is of an entirely different quality, but you share at your core the connection and love needed to make this lifetime what you both need it to be. Earthmates ground us, they keep us focused on what is needed now, in the present life we’re living. They give us a love which does not rely on unbreakable bonds forged on a spiritual plane, it is a love that is always renewing, revitalising and true to who we currently are. The bond to be had with an earthmate is no less than one with a soulmate, and often the experience of it will be just as profound.
Indeed, in later lives and incarnations these people may become our soulmates, but we should recognise that the work for this is being done here and now, that it has to begin somewhere.
And so, when we love and fall in love, when we find our many soulmates in lovers, friends or family, it’s essential to not beat ourselves up if the relationship breaks down. It’s doubly essential we do not fall into the trap of believing it is our only chance lost, or our destiny betrayed. There are other mates walking amongst us, who are just as precious and filled with just as much light. We should ready ourselves always to relive and renew the sacred love of any soulmate who comes along, but also to create new bonds with the next earthmate at our door.
You will always feel the difference between the two, so find the beauty in both.